The Freak, dream and disaster

i love my dream world, i have my uncle walt in my dream 

in my dream world i can have everything. i control my dream..

until the freak came and ruin it..

i never had a dream about one person, sudenlly he came in the right time 

he got me high, he is the freak.

i know him for a short time

but he got me, because he came in the right time

when the kiddo gone, when the kiddo doesnt care about me 

i know i'm the one that to depress about the kiddo.

dealing with kiddo is not my things

before i know how to handle them but now i feel different 

i need to settle everything in my life

with the 21 years old label now

shit, and the freak came, he give me sign

i know i'm not suppose to fall for him but it is me 

i'm easy to fall, and it is like new things happen 

but what now he disappear and left me lost in my dream world 

i sleep talking and dream about him

it never happen before, 

my dream world ruin, 

he's like my dream disaster 

disaster happen from the freak 

he came and ruin my dream world 

make my uncle walts gone

Please settle this things freak

give me back my dream world and my uncle walts

happy birthday dad :D

do you know how much i miss you dad?

and this year your not here, because of your working time 

i hope your here and celebrate with us 

happy birthday dad :D 

i wish you have a wonderful year ahead

i love you

tribute to John Lenon By me and my dad

did i mention about how i know and how i become one of the beatles fans??
it is because my dad, since i was kid he always ask me to listen the Beatles.
and yeah because of  him i become a big fans of them.

he always tell me the story about every single the bealtes song.
base on what he said the beatles song have meaning.
and there are two pioneer of the beatles John and Paul.

my dad love John and George, and me?
i love Paul, Ringo and George.
for me they are sweet, i like john but for me he's too idealistic.

my dad always how great Lenon's song.
and for sure i love lenon's song as well
sometime i wish the beatles still exist .
sometime i wish i can see John sing all his song :(

john loves peace, if he still alive he will make a song about all the war now
he will concern about what happen around the world

today is John's birthday and me and dad make our tribute by singing john's song by phone.
hahhaa, my dad working on batam :D and me here at jakarta.
and the other interesting fact is me, my dad and John are a librans :)
Happy birthday John, Rest in Peace. happy librans day

ps: Paul and me will miss you, send my regards to George ok :)

your clan make me feel this paranoia

I got a love disorder sick from paranoia
Cause my hearts been broken before ya
I need some anesthetic cause I start to panic
When the feelings get too familiar

(maniac- girlicious)

when read the lyric i feel so familiar 

and yeah, the problem is not on you

it is me, i feel paranoid when the feeling get to familiar

i am not ready, the feeling that i feel before is make me scared

scared of all of you, your clan, the clan that makes me have this disorder

i am scared..

i am scared of falling 

i am scared to love 

i am scared when the L things come

the problem because of your clan 

make me have a prolem

Welcome to the LIbra's month

it's been a long time i'm not share my story.
dealing with a hard month, and yeah i deal with Virgo month :D
hahhaa. funny, when it is hard for me to deal with last september
but actually september give me a lot of new lesson, and it is same as how virgos teach me

by the way, October coming.
i love october, a libra will love october.
yeah trust me!

i hope this month will make me more better.
i will have new age this month,
the age that will change my life.
i will become adult for sure.

so people WELCOME AND ENJOY IN THIS LIBRA'S MONTH !

finally a decision made by a libra

when a libra have to decide something it is a hard things.
but when the situation force a librans to make a decision
they will think. it is not to long as usual.
but it is not to fast, it's just simple,
just normal and librans make the decision with their heart fully

when a libra has to leave all that things that she love.
it is hard but she has to face it
when a libra decide her future.

finally a libra can make a decision 

Hello HOME

hi home, it's been 7 month.
i miss you, and yeah i will never leave you for that long
one thing home, why you give me this dream again

the dream that i don't know the ending
the dream that make my life like a roller coaster
for sure i need to settle down, i need to breath

i need to breath normally, not this kind of things
i know it is a lesson for me,
a lesson to control it.

but this one it's too big
this thing have a charm, to charming
and what else you will give to me home

but i miss you and i will just enjoy it

glad to see you again

Hey August, thanks for the lesson July

surely July give me a good lesson..
a lot of friendship lesson
all of it makes me realize my mistake
make me learn to control
make me know who is my friends

make me know how to control my emotion

august give me a balance start
let see what happen next

august means holiday for me :)

lead my hand

stop there
don't see me
don't judge me
i am not like what you think

i life in my own world
i had me and my self only there
me and my empty mind

where are you?
can you lift me from my dream world
i need you to take me back to the real world

slap me hard,
try to open my arm that cover my face
help me to let people see the real me

i know that you can help to lift me
take my hand,so you will help me
help me to open my arm that cover my face

take my hand and lead me to your world
lead me to the reality that make me learn
lead my hand to our world

love letter box for me

dear you, just put your love letter inside my love box

i will accept it, and i will read it 

i will understand your letter and your word

you know the way,right?

first write your name and explain to me who are you.

then let me know where are you

explain about you to me 

it is not only about you

you can write about your friends, your best friend your childhood friends

i want to know everything about you.

yes, you..

you know how to find the love letter box

my love letter box

so just put it inside 

then i will know you 

wish me luck to clean the mess and control

so many time i feel left out, so many time people think i am ok

i am not bing left out, it is all just come from my mind

my mind control everything, my mind start a game.

the unconscious part in my mind play the good role.

when the unconscious play the role i am nothing 

i even don't know why i am doing all the mistake 

emotion have a big role, a very big role 

until all my love one said " i fed up with you"

and yeah "shit, i have to stop it"

i have to take a big part on my unconscious.

i have to work with them.

i have to take part to decide what i will do

then after that i can say that i am a  grown up 

the truth is i am tired to listen to people 

because after people judge the emotion showed them self

when they appear it ruin everything

make a chaos is what I've done

i should clean this mess 

that's what i can do now.

so wish me luck 

a letter to you,stranger

hey there,
i know that you are the stranger
we never know each other 
we never say the HELLO word before
but the things i know

you will be around me
you will not make my heart hurt
you will take care of me
but,i do not know who are you

i know i will meet you soon, stranger
so i write this letter to you.
to let you know i am exists
i am around you

so go find me

i will be here, waiting for you to come to me

love,
another stranger

VELOCITY PPI Help University College !

come and Join our jocundity.

i'll bet you all will love it.

it is Glenn Fredly! 

so come have fun with us on 7 August 2010.

the biggest event from us. 

see you there guys.

ticket information :

     a. Pre- Sale : RM 65
       b. VIP : RM 130
       c. on the spot : RM 85

contact person : 

adit : +60-17-2330706


reza : +60-16-2003514


jo : +60-16-6251724

Band audition and registration Information 

Ditra : 014- 9363909

Tetha :013- 6639266

Velocity on facebook

Velocity on twitter

velocity on wordpress

so we will see you on 7 august 2010 at KL live :) 

denial on her words

Before, 

we are fine. 

she feel secure.

she feel she has you around.she can tell ever thing without worry about their feeling

we play like a kids, we can play around and feel free

then, 

it is happen the feeling come

screw every single thing that we feel

make every thing that we had screw

we pretend to play as a kid.

we pretend to had fun

until that happen 

Now,

everything awkward, even she said it is ok

we are not fine, we are not ok

she is pretending, more pretend as she's ok

pretend as everything fine

pretend that she can be a kid around you

on her side, we see denial.

on her words we see denial
that's the denial on her word

Hi, July, nice to see you June

it is July, June gone to fast.

June teach me a lot of things, June teach me to make a good decision.

leave me hurt a bit, but i know it wont be long.

July, just start few days.

but i know i the hurt still be there.

the wound wouldn't recovery that fast.

but i know July will help me.

July will be nice to me. 

so Hi July, nice to see you June

Hey, it Aghnia here

sometime people have to different side on their self..

when i realize, i have that too.

one is Muthi, the one that always people see and know.

muthi is a very spoiled kids, she doesn't want to grow up.

she is the one can act spontaneously.

but i can said she can't think everything clear, she wants everything become fast.

but some people love Muthi, and because they just know Muthi

then now it is me Aghnia..

Aghnia is the one that more calm, and can control situation,

she will choose to hide, and come out in some situation.

she act more smart, but just a few people know her.

she will choose to whom that she will appear.

but both of them is on me, Aghnia muthi.

i am the one who control them.

the combination of them thats me.

yeah it is like DID.

but it is me.

now Aghnia talk here .

i miss you too

1994 when i start to know you, the small and curly girl.

since then we spend our time together, you make me feel so proud.

you said i am better that you, but that's not right.

i learn to share every thing because of you.

you thought me how to be patient.

you the one that teach me to be nice to people.

when i see your smile, i know that is from your heart.

i know it's been awhile i am not meeting you,

your giggles, your silly thing

make me miss you even more.

wait till august and we can share all of our story again 

see you soon sist :)

and i love you

i am not coming back, i will move one step ahead

i go for a while Pisces. 

but i decided to not coming back.

i think we should go a part.

it might be this the way to make everything better

so i choose to go from you.

before i am coming back to you.

but you are not the place where i belong.

so i choose to stay at my place now.

i think you will have a good life now.

but there will be no alarm and no surprises as you said

but you will enjoy that time.

i am gonna miss you.

at the end i will say goodbye 

and i will move one step ahead

i will be back, love

hey there, i am not loss.

i just gone for a while.

i gone to clear my head..

my head is very reek,

i need to make it clear.

i just gone for awhile.

i will be back, soon..

i promise, and i miss you

but i have to go, i am going now

i am not loss, i do not want you to find me

give me some space,

just wait until i feel my self again

i promise, i will be back to you.

you are the place that where i belong to

i love you

have we meet?

hey, who are you?

have we meet?

do you know me

no, i don't

but why my hear beat is fast

is that because of you?

no no i am not sure

it is because of you?

but who are you?

i never meet you

i haven't know you

but...

i feel like i know you

like i wanted to be yours

take your shoes to the new life journey

i just see one of my friends twitter, she said "to be grown up you have to go out of you comfort zone" base on this sentence or quote (what ever it is just name it) i slightly agree.

i am not saying i am growing up, i know i am not but at least when you are out of your comfort zone, you will learn something, you will learn about people that you never even think that you will meet.

from that new people you will learn how they see life differently, because every people has a lot of different things. even you can know how to be a different people, you can see there is a lot of people that you know think same as you think.

i admit that is not that easy, for me i had been dealing with this for two years, and it is such a waste of time. but that is the start when i decided to go out of my comfort zone and meet new people. people that will see you from different perspective, people that not judge you from one side of where you come from, they just see you as the real you, the people that know you from zero.

it might be they do not know you since you was a kid, but the things is saying Hi, can be a good start to know new people and start to get out from your comfort zone. it is not that easy but at least we have to try it.

i try it and i enjoy it :)

Thanks May,hello again June!

hello June, we meet again

i hope your being nice to me

i learn a lot from May, May seems to be tough to me

but May teach me a lot of new things

May help me find another comfort zone

May teach me to go out from my box.

now Hello June we meet again

i hope you teach me another life lesson

pencil and eraser by Cella :)

Pencil says “You know, I’m really sorry.”

Eraser says “For what? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Pencil says “I’m sorry, ‘cause you get hurt because of me.

Whenever I make a mistake, you’re always there

to erase it. But as you make my mistake vanish,

you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and

smaller every time.”

Eraser says “That’s true, but I don’t really mind. You see, I

was made to do this. I was made to help you

whenever you do something wrong. Even

though, one of these days, I know I’ll be gone

and you have to replace me with a new one, I’m

actually happy with my job. So please, stop

worrying. I hate to see you sad..”

i just read my sister friends blog i was touchy.

for a sixteen years old girl to make this conversation it is very touchy

and yeah I am here missing you

and i want you here

i want you be with me

because i miss you and it is killing me pisces

where are you going Pisces ?

it is been almost 3 months i haven't meet you..

feel a lot of changes happen, it might be not only you

it might be me change as well..

this changes that happen to you killing me inside.

i might look fine in front of you, but i am tearing apart..

you killing me softly with your attitudes.

but yeah, people change..

i do change

but hey, where are you going pisces?

i am here, so please stay here with me

this Feeling

i sit alone and enjoy this feeling.

this kind of feeling.

feeling about big changes

feeling about loosing

feels afraid to be alone

feeling to fight all of this feeling

i am struggling for another big changes in my life again

happy belated birthday boy :)

a late present :) i suppose to put here last month..

from kiki and litsa :)

and this one is from me :)

happy belated birthday boy :)

have a blast for your 21st!

enjoy it :)

i love you

it is not a fairy tale,it is jungle. but..

i mention a lot about fairy tale before

and yeah i admitted i am a fairy tale person.

but i just realize, now i am 20 and going to be 21st.

i should take life seriously.

because i realize there's no such a thing as fairytale now.

life now it isn't a fairytale it's call jungle.

why jungle?? because life now same like a jungle life.

who can survive will be survive, we use a hard way.

reality will slap us harder than before.

friends or foe has no different.

people use to say " keep your friends close and your enemy closer"

but i just wanted to do one thing.

i know there's no such a thing as fairy tale anymore.

but i want to wear tutu in this jungle.

i will survive with my tutu.

i still want to keep a quarter of fairy tale spirit.

even jungle need a different spirit, so can i wear my tutu and run in the jungle?

if i wear tutu the jungle will be more live and colorful..

even i wear tutu i still can survive.

so please let me still wear my colorful tutu

heart and head

girls always use their heart to all the things that they're doing

i can said because i am a girl.

but we have to realize that we have to use our head

we have to balance it

it might be hard, i try it.

but when we've done with balancing, the result will be good

don't use you heart to much or it will got hurt.

use heart and head

balance it

in the heart and in the head

story of February

hey i am back from my Thailand trip.

i am tanned and peeled, i got sun burn.

this February, has a lot of story to tell i don't know from where i have to start.

after i scan my Thailand picture i will start it :)

to many distraction to write, after exam i might be write again :)

xoxo

the new upcoming journey

hi i am back

i am mention that i will have a lot of journey after my holiday.

THAILAND that i am talking about. next week me nabila ayya and nidi will have a short escape to thailand, our journey will start on 7 February until 14 of February. cant wait to go there, our first destination is koh Phiphi, if you watch the beach you can imagine how beautiful phi phi island, and i imagine phi phi island every time before i sleep .

second destination will be Bangkok, yeah the capital city of Thailand. yeah, if you heard about bangkok the first thing will come out in your mine is SHOPPING, bangkok is like haven for a lot of shoppaholic . but for me this is the first journey that i am going to go without my parents, i mean here just with my friends,

for me thailand is like haven for me, first because i love elephant, thailand have a lot of unique and ethnic stuff, of course a lot of elephant picture on it.

update about my journey soon.

happy 2010 and new life journey begin

happy belated new year !! i know it is to late but since i am in jakarta i find a difficulties writing.

by the way every body have a new year resolution, but for me my life is full of spontaneous things. i do have resolution but it is ordinary things.

there is a change in this new year, oh forget about the stranger dear, finally i found the Pisces boy.

the full story will tell later, because it is a part of the journey story.

by the way next week i am going back to KL, and i have to leave him for 6 month

ok thats the brief of 2010 the beginning

write later