my accompanion trip.

this the thing i would bring to every trip i have. my diana, my sampoerna, the rool of my diana. and i always order ice tea as a drink. why i bring this three things :

• i do not want to lose every moment of my trip
• i like taking picture
• my diana camera make me feel different every time i m taking picture.
• i can't live without my sampoerna and also the lighter
• the rool film for my diana, because i like to shoot a lot of stuff

yesterday i went to junk yard with my housemate+the shadow housmate. hahha
junk yard held in palete palete at bukin cangkat. i like the place, they got a good design there.
they sell food. cloth. some old book. and still got a lot of stuff.
but because it is the end of month we cant buy the stuff. haha.
then we just eat the food.
then i eat the most delicious cheese cake..
it is hard to explain because it is very very super duper delicios.
it is a heavenly pleasure.


that's the cheese cake.

xoxo

a late night talk with felix and his advice. talk

.the advice all here.

to night as usual i m staying at ellang's house. i never mention ellang right in my blog.. hihihihii.. sorry ellang. ellang is nabila's bf. she is my house mate..

ok let me begin the story. felix is indonesian psychology student like me. but he can use the study better than me. so tonight sudenlly i m had a small conversation about being as what we are.
sometime we never realise about being who we are, but sudenlly i realise i never being who i am, since i m in KL. i feel so tired pretending. as nabila's PM in skype pretending= fake= selfish. yes it is true. i feel i m fake. but it come in my mind about are they will accept if i m trying to be my self??
are they will change?? so i told felix about this, then felix told me about one story it is same like what i feel now.. so he give some advice..

his advice :

BE QUIET.
SEE THE SITUATION
SEE WHO IS THE PEOPLE ARE.

but he said i must try first with my close friend.
what he said is true. because my terapist said to me about this.
i m pretending to be accepted by other people.
he said to me about, what SOE HOK GIE said " lebih baik d asing kan dari pada menyerah kepada kemunafikan"

and after finished this conversation we talk about KEPO person.
i ask him about this " why have kepo people ?? "
and felix answer "genetic" hahhaa..
he said maybe the kepos parent is also kepo..
hahahhaha.. funny,
but we make it staright, acctually people have kepo side, the diffrent is how they control it.
yeah it is true..
then felix related this things to our courses, he said that's why we are psychology's learn about people, and it a plus side we can see abou a wrong side of people mind.

acctually this late night talking help me. and i feel i will never regret abou why i choose psychology.

thanks felix.

HE IS MY BESTFRIEND/MY EX BOYFRIEND.

.it is me and angga with our skype.

if i start this it is a silly story.
angga and me know each other when we were in elementary school.
i m dating with him. hahaha . but it's a long long time a go.
suddenly after 5 years we lost communication, we're meet each other again. and it is accidentally.
that after that lost again. after two years, i've been living in malaysia. and he already in aussie.
we feel more close, like a best friend. than until now. but every time i introduce him just as my friend. and he complain about that. hahha
ok so i ask what i should name you. ok he said "your ex bf" but it is a long long time a go. so we make a deal. i introduce you like this "HE IS MY BEST FRIEND/MY EX BOY FRIEND"
and he also call me like that but diffrent call is he is my ex bf, so if he said like this "SHE IS MY BEST FRIEND/ MY EX GIRL FRIEND" haha
it is silly but that how we staging now.
but soon he will call me as his theraphyst. hahha
i promise him to go soon to adelaide and have a picnic with his sister and his house mate "arya"

i promise ngga..

xoxo.
a

[10:03:52 PM] Angga Gonzalez: the one u love caused the most damage

today i become a real psychologist.. ok not like that.hehe
suddenly i miss my friend/my best friend/my ex. it is how i mention him.
he told me a story about a girl that he love now. quite complicated but because i m a girl actually i can understand from the girl side. that's call trauma. she got a trauma. than i told him a story about a girl ( actually that's my story) i told him about my things called relationship, how i m afraid to that word. how i try to denied if i had a feeling with some one because i m afraid. how i denied all of my feeling, how my life become a roller coaster because this things called trauma. then suddenly he said about a quote " the one u love caused the most damage" he said this at 10:03:52 pm. his name is angga. suddenly i realized about this, this will happen not only with your boyfriend or girlfriend, it also can happen with all people that we love so much. our friends, best friend. house mate, what ever we called that!!

the fact is I M JUST A MISTRESS.

last night i know the fact about another side of me..

remember about the unnamed guy.
he give me a news.. that he has a girlfriend..
so i m just the mistress..

i feel weird i become a mistress...

but actually it is hard to let him go.
i ask him to chose but he don't want..

so i chose. " i chose to leave"

i m leaving for the last time..

new hair cut = new me=new..?????

this is the different.. which one better???

i just cut my hair last week.. it become so short..

some people believe if we cut hair all the bad luck will gone..

but it is really happen??

i feel same, nothing change. i just have a new name "JAIKO" giant sister..
hahha
let we'll see what different